Posts in Uncategorized
Wiping the Slate Clean

This space has been quiet for awhile. Part of it has been unintentional - life happens and stuff - but part of it has been because I just don’t know what to say (write?). In the past 3 months I have - moved, gotten divorced (or more accurately, am in the process of doing so), been trying to find a new job, had a little nephew come into the world, and had all of the regular life stuff that we all deal with. And it’s been a rough 3 months. Between all of that, I have found myself at a several points asking myself “what do I want?” What I want in training? What do I want in my career? What do I want for this space? Etc. And the honest answer is…I don’t know. But I want to find out. As someone who is very introverted and extremely unconfident, I have found myself struggling to find my footing in answering those questions. In an attempt to practice being more emotive and open, I’ve overstated my own importance - I shared more instead of letting others share more. In an attempt to find some sort of confidence, I’ve come off as narcissistic and self-centered. In trying to show others how much I truly care about them and their success, I’ve over-emphasized my role. In short, in trying to correct things, I overcorrected and made mistakes. And now I’m struggling to find the middle ground.

I have never, ever deliberately tried to be inauthentic or disingenuous, but perception is reality, and the reality that I could be perceived that way is not lost on me. I value honesty and authenticity above most things and the fact that there is even a possibility of others perceiving me as neither one of those things...well, it’s soul crushing. And for all those things, I apologize.

So what will happen with this space? I still don’t know. It will continue to exist. It will probably change in some way. If you’ve stuck around, THANK YOU. I hope you’ll stay to see what’s next.

Reflection on 2014

As 2014 comes to a close, I've had quite a bit of time to reflect thanks to a long overdue period of time off. This year has been hectic to say the least, but it has also been profoundly productive in a number of ways. I've learned a lot, had a lot of success, had a lot of fails, and have grown more than I thought possible.

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I competed a few times and had a productive off season in Strongman, despite some injuries and set backs.

 

I moved down a weight class and spent more time learning about nutrition than I care to admit.

 

I achieved some big goals and set even bigger goals to be achieved in the future.

 

My husband and I opened a food truck.

 

I wrote a lot about body image and my process of my making peace with body.

 

I spent a lot of time learning from my mistakes and failures.

 

I took risks. Lots of them.

 

I spent a lot of time doing Strongman things - from writing about, to learning about it, to helping coach training camps.

 

I ate a lot of peanut butter cups and drank a lot of wine.

 

I changed the focus of this space - it wasn't intentional or planned, it just sort of evolved. And I love that.

 

I spent a lot of time and energy on reaching out to women who lift and encouraging women to pick up some iron - from running a now very large FB group to writing for female focused websites, this was definitely the year of women who lift.

I can't wait for 2015.